I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize