I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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