it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
