Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
