u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
