Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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