What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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