I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
