I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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