just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
