i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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