So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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