I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize