So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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