Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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