Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize