is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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