you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
