I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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