He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
