I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
