Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
