So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
