So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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