belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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