I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
