This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
