He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
