I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
