Buhtt sex?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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