Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
