can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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