two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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