Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
