apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
