You can't special order awesome
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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