Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
