saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize