just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
