Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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