I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
that's an acceptable place to lick
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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