How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize