im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
