god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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