This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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