You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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