Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
