What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize