i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
