We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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