Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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