So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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