i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
