if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
