is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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