is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
