can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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