miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have already put on my inside pants.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
