If i come over, it means nothing
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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