I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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