I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
