we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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