is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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