We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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