In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
