I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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