She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
