The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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