True but thats because hes a fetus.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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