yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My pussy is not your playground.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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