i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize