i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
