If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
