I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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