Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
